G’day mates. Y’all know I love me some horror movies. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with all things horror. I had a subscription to Fangoria magazine. I did random gore make-up on myself and walked around our apartment complex just trying to freak people out.
I would try to convince friends that I was a werewolf or a vampire. Once I even told someone that I was secretly a mermaid.
I was a weird kid
After high school, I went to the Art Institute of Pittsburg to study industrial design. It was one of only three schools in the country, at that time, that had classes in make-up and special effects for movies. I wish I could say I was a more dedicated student, but that’s about the same time I started being super gay.
Boys became more important than school, so I dropped out, came home and felt like a huge failure.
Plus, having never been out of the state of Texas before I moved to Pennsylvania, I was lonely and always on edge. It is so comforting now to know that, if I needed help for any reason, I have a bunch of people I can call, day or night, who would be there for me. I didn’t have that in Pittsburg, and it fucked with my head.
Dammit! I went off topic! Horror movies!
Why tha fuck do so many horror movies come out in the spring? Hell of a Summer, Sinners, Until Dawn, Clown in a Cornfield, Final Destination: Bloodlines and Bring Her Back all premiered this spring. But I like my horror in the fall, when there is a chill in the air and dark clouds fill the sky and permeate your soul.
One of my biggest pet peeves with horror movies right now is the PG-13 rating. Stop that bullshit!
I want all horror movies to be able to go there. I want blood, guts, gore and a decent amount of cussing. Otherwise, it just ain’t realistic. I am mostly speaking of slasher flicks, here. They should always be rated “R,” at least. Same with zombie, vampire or possession movies.
Another big annoyance for me is a crappy, low-budget horror movie that looks low budget.
White contacts do not a zombie make! I am so sick of getting excited for a movie because of the name, poster or synopsis only to be let down by crap lighting with crappier make-up.
I can overlook a little bad acting in a horror movie, sometimes it is my favorite part. Think Linnea Quigley in Night of the Demons or Linnea Quigley in Return of the Living Dead. She was so bad that she was great — like E.T. being so ugly he was cute.
Other times I can’t overlook bad acting. Think Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Bless his heart.
I miss old-school practical effect horror movies. CGI has its place, but there is nothing like a goofy, unrealistic-looking prop being filmed and lit in such a way that it freaks you out or creeps you out.
Fake blood that is just a shade off, so when you see it spurting and covering the walls and everyone around, you’re not too icked out. It’s disgusting but not so hyper realistic that you wanna throw up. I’m talking to you first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
I hate when someone asks me, “What is your favorite movie?” I just cannot answer that without more info. Are we talking action? Horror? Drama?
When it comes to favorite horror movies, I have a list. I could never say just one: Nightmare on Elm Street part one and Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Night of the Demons from 1988, Evil Dead 2, Fright Night (the original, not the horrible one with Colin Ferrel). Silver Bullet. Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead. The Crazies. An American Werewolf in London. The Mist. It Part 1. Cabin in the Woods. Train to Busan. The first Resident Evil. When Evil Lurks. The Exorcism of Emily Rose.
I could go on and on and on.
A good horror movie is my happy place. I’m not sure what that says about me. Weird as a kid, weird as an adult. Fuck it!
Remember to always love more, bitch less and be fabulous! What is your favorite scary movie? XOXO, Cassie Nova
